Not Worrying.

I haven't been worrying so much about things lately. I've either blocked it from my mind or gotten rid of the things worrying me in general. Of course, I can't get rid of everything but I learned I had unnecessary things going on in my life. I also learned to stop thinking "what if". Unfortunately, I did that alot with my time and probably missed great opportunities because of that.

Things didn't work out for a reason and things turned out like they were supposed to. I'm okay with that now. I'm glad I didn't get what I wanted because it's definitely not what I needed at all. My life would have been crazy if I would have gotten those things. I'm so thankful life had a different course and I'm glad my fear kept me from making such huge mistakes. My life is great just the way it is.

Which leads me to my thought of relationships and things. It seems to me that every week, someone I know gets engaged. I'm happy for them of course, whether I agree with it or not. Because it makes them happy and that's what matters. But for a while, it was really bothering me. Like bad. Because I kept thinking "I can't even get a guy and here they are getting married." Now, I realize I have to be happy with being single. Because I don't want anyone in my screwed up life right now anyway. I also realize that I shouldn't have to "get" anyone either. It should just happen and I shouldn't have to be in a competition to get a guy. I've known girls to totally just mentally fight to get a guy which is ridiculous and pathetic. I'm so glad I'm not like that.

I'm going to be happy with my life though. I'm going to be happy with what I have that's good in life because some people don't even have that. I just gotta remember that when I'm feeling down. I have wonderful things and I'm doing just okay being alone. I don't NEED a guy and I never will. But I do want that change in my life one day and I hope it's part of God's plan. I guess only time will tell.

I'm going to just do what I want and live my life. Things will change when they're supposed to.