Truth Won't Pass Your Lips.

Things aren't very good at the moment. I have successfully (up until today) put my insecurities and negative thoughts aside for a while. I have tried to play things off like I am super happy and that life is just wonderful. Wrong. Today that all changed. Honestly, I'm tired of pretending and I don't really care who hates my negativity. At the moment, that's how I am. If you don't like it, then goodbye.

I'm stuck in this crazy place that I can't seem to get out of. I've tried everything. I've cried, laughed, gotten mad..... I've tried to block it out. Yet, I always come back to the same place. I try to talk to God. I've tried to bargain with myself. It's done nothing.... The sad fact is that I'm in love with someone who will never ever ever want anything to do with me. I've tried to move on. I've had months to do it when he's not been talking to me. I've had time to tell myself that I'm better off, but I know that's a lie. He made me feel things nobody else ever did. Then he just gave it all up because I wasn't good enough by his standards. I wasn't her. I wasn't his "type." Do you know how stupid I feel every time I think about it? I thought I was good enough because he was more than good enough for me. I loved all the good and I loved the bad too. I felt like everything was going so well. I guess I was just getting played. Actually, I don't believe that at all. I think he really cared and then he freaked out. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe I really just wasn't good enough. I won't ever give up on him though. I've loved him for so long. Hell, i liked him the first day I actually spent time with him. I've been caught up in him from that first day. I never had a chance.

I guess it's safe to say that I know what I want and I don't feel the need to settle for anything less. I know that it probably won't ever happen, but I just don't care. People can be disappointed in me all they want. Your lack of faith in me doesn't matter. I don't need any of you if you can't support the one thing that actually made sense to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNxX2N4D_Aw&feature=BFa&list=FLvFZxlBLfZmgbref-HB2Qbg