What if? Love and such.

Today I had a conversation with a friend of mine. I guess the easiest way to say this is just to fill you in on a situation they have. Which makes me think of a situation I had for the longest time and that I still do. Simple story: A guy I've known for the past 3+ years has messed with my head so much and now we want nothing to do with each other. A friendship is ruined and I no longer want him as anything like I used to. I don't even want to be friends with him.

But.... if he came to me today and asked to start over, I think I would. Because I'm constantly thinking "what if". That's crazy I guess, but it's how I am. There's a quote along the lines of "the right person can come at the wrong time". I used to wonder if that was for our situation, but I definitely know it's not. It did cross my mind a lot, but I realize it was never meant to be and I'm so glad I have nothing to do with him anymore. But I think I'd give it another shot if asked. Stupid, but it's how I am.

This all leads to the whole love thing. For me, I refuse to get emotionally attached to a guy again. At least not for a while. I'm interested in a guy, but I refuse to get all caught up with him. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. If nothing, then that's fine. If something does happen, then awesome :)

I know all those other guys weren't the one for me and I'm glad. I see that I never needed or wanted them like that. I know there are so many other guys out there and I might even know who I'm supposed to end up with already. I got a couple of guys I know that are great guys which gives me hope on finding one. They make me realize that there are good men in the world who will be just what I want and need. I have nothing to worry about. There's no sense of rushing anything since I have another 2 years of college and a career to start. It'll all happen when It's supposed to. I am done trying to make something happen. It's stupid and pointless.

I guess this is a happy post for me. Talking with my friend put me in perspective and made me realize I'm done trying to run from good things and I'm done running to bad things. I'm just going to go with it :)