I've been thinking a lot for the past few days. I know I'm still holding onto things I shouldn't be and that bothers me. I guess it's just because I'm so afraid to take another chance when I got hurt so much. I know I can't live like that. Change has to happen for me to grow. I'm so ready for things to change. I just have the problem of actually taking the first step to that change.
Right now, I'm not having to do much. Change is happening right in front of me, but it scares me. This change was one i didn't have in mind and it really just freaks me out. I know it's a good thing. I feel like it's a good thing, but I'm so afraid I'm going to ruin it. I don't want to do that at all. It's a great thing and it just fits into my life. It's amazing and scary at the same time. Crazy, right??
I have a hard time believing I deserve good things. I think it's just because I know what I have to change and I'm too afraid to do that. But I'm going to. I have all Christmas break to really get it all right. I'm hoping other things will be changed by then and I'm praying for those things. God hears me and I'm hoping this is a part of his plan. It just seems different. We'll see though.
This is all like my own little secret. I just realized how mysterious this note sounds haha :)
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