Motivation Is Key.

I've been really motivated to write things which is weird. It's been a long time since I've found any joy in writing. I love doing it, I just don't have much to write about these days. Who wants to read things about the obstacles in my life? Nobody. That's why I'm glad I'm finally getting over that. It's been a hard time for me and not many people realize that. Yeah, I'm not the most optimistic person, but I usually don't open up so easily about my struggles like I have been. I needed help and I got it.

Back to my original thought. I want to start writing again. I used to write poetry all the time and just stopped. Maybe it's because I got tired of writing about guys or maybe it's because I didn't feel like any of it was good enough for people to like. But I'm going to do it again. I'm going to write whatever comes to mind. I'm going to write about anything and everything. I'm trying to decide whether to keep everything I write to myself or to share it with others. It's a tough decision knowing I put my heart into everything I write and I just don't know if all of that needs to be out there for people to know.

Yesterday was a good day for me. I can't explain it and I don't want to. I did something I never thought I'd be able to do so easily and it was a good feeling. It was a really good feeling. I know that whatever this is now is going to all work out with time and in the way it's supposed to. I'm going to try my hardest not to worry about it and to turn it over to God, even though that's extremely hard for me to do.

I just want to thank God for everything he's done. I lost hope in myself which caused me to lose hope in him. But now that I've been surrounding myself with people who uplift me and don't bring me down, my hope has come back. I haven't really told anybody about this so this is important. I was so down and out about everything. I saw no hope for my future and I saw no reason to even try anymore. I was hitting that low I didn't want to be at, but I got there. A lot of things changed that, but I'd rather not say what. Because you might not understand it. Let's just say a few people had an impact in my change and I'd like to think that God placed those people in my life for a reason. I'm done being miserable about things I can't change or worrying about things that might not even happen. I'm not going to try to rush through life anymore because if I can't be happy right now, then i won't be happy with what I think I want. I'm going to just live in the moment and I'm only going to worry about my future a little bit. :) Hey, what can i say? i gotta worry about it at times. I think that's normal anyway.

There really was no point to this I don't think. But I just felt like writing and I'm glad I have such positive things to say :)