I surrender who I’ve been for who you are.

It seems that here recently I've had some confusing ideas about what I really want. I'll make this as simple as possible to understand. A lot of events have happened in my life that have given me the ability to appreciate the good guys in life. I went through a long phase, which I'm sure I'm not out of yet, of liking these guys that were full of problems. These guys were what most would call "bad guys". Recently, I was interested in a really great guy. Unfortunately, things didn't work out like I had hoped but I'm dealing with it. I'm sad that I didn't get a chance, but I know it didn't happen for some reason and I have to accept it. I get that. I honestly do.

I've not told anyone this yet so expect a good secret. I've cut off all feelings for guys or I'm in the process of that. I refuse to get in over my head anymore and so far I'm doing a good job. What I'm about to say might not make sense to you. Oddly enough, I've noticed a lot more guys and they happen to be good guys as far as I know. In a way, it's like I'm reminding myself that this last guy was not the only guy in the world. Just like the last couple guys weren't the last. I've seen potential in people here recently. That I could possibly see myself with one day in the future I guess. It's nice to know there's still guys out there that I think I'd be perfectly happy with. If that makes any sense. It probably doesn't to you. I guess I just like to think about my future and how I could end up being with a guy I already know and have just never noticed. It's weird honestly, but I kind of like the thought of that. Knowing there's that chance I've already met the "right" guy for me. It's a nice feeling. Which is why I'm not giving up, regardless of what I've said.

Yesterday, there was this guy. Yeah, I know him and have talked to him a few times. Probably five times at the most and it was really nothing more than a hello thing. It's just that I saw him yesterday and thought, "you know, he could be a good guy for me one of these days." Crazy, right? I told you, I think crazy things all the time.

To sum this up, I think I'm just ready to stop being so focused on things like this and I'm willing to let things play out like they're supposed to.