30th post.

I didn't have a catchy title so I just put that :)

Anyway, I'd like to start out by saying that I'm sorry for how depressing I've been lately. I didn't realize I'd gotten that bad again and I hope I don't do that for a while. I was going through this phase where I felt like nobody wanted to be around me. Yeah, I know I'm the invisible girl. People tend to overlook me and whatnot and that' my own fault. I'm just not very outgoing which gets me into these depressive moods which I don't like at all. I'm going to try to remember that it's my fault whenever this happens. Because I guess a few select people want to be around me. Which is a good thing. Maybe I'm not as boring as I think I am.

Again, I've been having these up and down moods for the past few days. I scare myself when I'm full of hope about something. It's amazing how one little thing changed and here I am with a million thoughts running through my head. Most of it has been good thoughts, but there's that part of me that feels like I'm not good enough. I hate feeling like this, but I guess when you let your past define the present, that's what happens. It's weird, knowing that this might work out. Maybe I have finally found a path that God approves of. I really don't know, but all I can do is try.

I'm worried about my GPA. It's a 3.23...... Not good. Well, it's not good when I went from a 3.8 in high school to that. But I'm going to get it up to where it belongs. 3.5 is where I'll be proud of myself at and that's what I'm determined to do :) I know I can do it if I stick to it. This whole college thing is gonna pay off somehow. It may not be my main priority in life at the moment, but it's definitely close to the top. I'm gonna make it. It's what I need to do for me and my family.

I guess most of this has been what I'm stressing about. Not much else can be said. It's just the little things that make me the most depressed. I let so many things build up and this is what happens. But I've finally got people in my life that are there for me and who want to help me. Which I am so very thankful for :)