You Can't Do This.

I spent months convincing myself you were nothing more than a friend. I cried over you and I laughed about the whole situation. For me, the summer was rough. One small talk about you turned into me revealing that I do still want you which is not okay with me. 

But you can't look at me with those eyes unless you're ready to take on that responsibility of me loving you. Because that's what happened. I looked at you one day and things changed. We changed. We became something that I never have understood. But you can't love me when you have her. She comes first and that's how it should be. I'm just the good friend. That's what made itself known.

I want you to be happy with her. Because you've been with her for so long and you deserve to be in love with someone like her. But I can't help and think that I wish that was me. Say what you want, but I know there's something's there. We've never played on emotions and I'm thankful for that. It shows what a great man you really are. It shows what a great boyfriend you are to her too. You love her, but how much?

We'll never know what this is and I'm not sure if I want to. I don't have to tell you that I love you because I'm sure you know it. I consider you one of my best friends and I refuse to be that horrible person that tries to stand in the way of your happiness. I'm so thankful to have you in my life to show me how much I can love one person. You're a true friend and I love you just for that.

So, keep denying that there's anything. Let's not ever talk about it. Why start now? Nothing's ever been said and that's how it should be. But when you look at me like that again, I hope you know it hurts me. I hope you see how much I wish we would have met years ago. But I hope you also see that I love you and I'm determined to make sure your happiness stays in place. So, I'll be your friend because that's a wonderful thing to me. 

"Some people are meant to fall in love with each other... but not meant to be together."