What is this?

2011 has been a good year for the most part. This month of December has been okay, but mostly depressing in my mind. I'm good at hiding it most of the time, but I'm going to be so glad to get it over with. It has been full of confusing encounters and endless tears. I'm done with all of that. I was happy one minute, crying my eyes out the next. Most of all, I just hope 2012 is so much better. Which it will be because things are going to change.

I'm going to try my hardest to let go of everything that's holding me back. That includes a nameless guy who somehow totally messed up my christmas day. Ugh. That won't ever happen again. We used to be friends, not so much anymore. Yet, he still can make me confused as ever. Next year that won't happen. Nope, it sure won't. Then, let's not mention the 2 times I felt my heart break into another little piece. Once was in May which is somehow got over fast, but this last time was just about 2 weeks ago I guess. But I'm okay because my heart is still functional and I know that one guy will show up that will help me put it all completely back together. I can't wait for that :)

Which leads me to discuss something else: The mystery man. He is nothing special and I have no clue how these thoughts came about. But they are here and not leaving. I'm trying to figure it out, but it doesn't make sense. But I'm just letting things happen and not doing anything different. I'm trying to stay calm and remind myself not to run away from a simple hello which I am sure to get countless times next semester. I must gather up courage and fight the urge to RUN! I'm so good at running now. Which is my biggest weakness. I blame it on boy who ruined christmas day for me. Yes, I do.

On a happy note, I think I'm okay with doing social work for a while. That means I only have 66 more hours to complete and I am on my way to having a career. Which will then proceed in me potentially going to get my master's degree or more importantly my associates degree in occupational therapy. Call me crazy, but I want to do something in the medical field. Which just so happens to be this as a good idea. I found a program in Nashville which would be great since that's where I plan on working. It might benefit me greatly. I guess we'll see.

My future is going to hold wonderful things. I'm going to have a successful career and my log home I so desperately want. In this home, I will have a whole room with bookshelves lining the walls filled with books. Don't call me crazy yet. I will also have my animals and possibly a couple of goats (Just because they're so darn cute). I will live a happy life, with or without a man in my life. Who could I possibly need if I have Jesus? Oh kids? I've got that covered. I can adopt once I turn 30. No problem. It'll happen if it's supposed to. Just knowing I can still have my family without being married makes me very excited. I thought that was the only way to get the one thing I really wanted. Doing research helped those fears go away. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't wait to see how my future plays out because there are so many opportunities.

That's all for now though. I have rambled enough.