Surrendering cause I know that I'm really not so strong.

Common Ground was exactly what I needed. I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to me. That message was meant just for me. I've been struggling with so many things and I know that I just need to let them go. That's so hard for me to do. I'm going to try my hardest though. I can't be strong anymore. I've been trying for way too long.

1 Corinthians 10:13 - "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way to escape, that you may be able to bear it."

I have been tempted so much this past week. I've been tempted to give up and let go. I'm stronger than that. I refuse to give up. I refuse to sink. I'm not the strongest, but with God I know I'm capable of making it through this.

Philippians 2:14 - 15. Look them up. Some of the best verses ever. I know I have to stop complaining about things. I'm here on this earth to be a light to the world. I can do it. I just have to try. I haven't been trying and that's obvious.

I know everything I'm going through now have to end at some point. I'm here at Tech for a reason. I'm a social work major for a reason. I've always wanted to help people and this is the way I can help them. Honestly? I feel like I'm supposed to be in New York. Since going there, I've felt a desire to be back. Guess where I plan on going after I graduate? You bet. I know God has great things for me no matter where I'm at. I'm going to just trust him though.

I know I should be happy for my dad. I'm glad he's finally getting that family he always deserved. I don't feel like I'm a part of it though. I guess that's partly my fault. It's just so hard for me to open up to people anymore. I opened up my life and heart to Stephanie and Ashlynn. I love them to death and they aren't around anymore. I feel like I'm the only one who's hurt by that and it sucks. I need my time to move on and be okay. I know I'll see them around, but it's so hard to accept that those little things I loved about my life are changed.

I love my family so much. Being away from them is the right thing though. Why? Because I have to find who I am. They think I need to stay that same girl I've always been. I know that's not right. It's time for some changes. I have to do this on my own.

I know changes have to happen and soon. I can't keep talking about them. I just have to make it happen.